Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Kiyoshi on Thu Feb 11, 2010 6:09 am

You need 12-13 paragraphs for an A ranked Jounin. Right now, all you have is enough for Chuunin.

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Reborn on Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:46 pm

Character Guide wrote:Jounin 12-13 Paragraphs

Each paragraph should contain about 100 words, or a minimum of five lines, so post accordingly!

If you go by this, then all you really need is 1200 to 1300 words to obtain Jounin rank. I have 1304 words, meaning that I've actually over-met the history requirements.

To say that I need to actually divide up my history into 12 to 13 paragraphs is pointless as some parts of history can't really be divided up into that many paragraphs, but if needed just to fit this rule of "12 to 13" paragraphs all I have to do is go back and make those giant paragraphs into smaller ones.

So which do you prefer? Meeting the requirements by word count or meeting them by paragraph count? Either way its going to be the same thing.

Honestly... judging a character's rank by paragraph count alone? Unfair much?
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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Kiyoshi on Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:41 pm

The reason why it is preferred to have separated paragraphs is because it is generally easier to read without a whole bunch of words all over the place.

Honestly... judging a character's rank by paragraph count alone? Unfair much?

Idk who told you that's how we operate but please don't assume exactly how we do things. We judge applications like resumes, with organization and quality. If you don't have either, then you don't have a worthy application, make sense?



It also says in the character guide that A rank ninja can have 2 elements, not 3.

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Reborn on Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:51 pm

Character Template wrote:Elemental Affinity: [What elements do you have? S through A Ranks can have three, B-C, can have two and D Ranks can have one]
Regarding the elements, I was going mostly by the Character Template and it said A Ranks can have up to three. So, if you don't mind explaining, why is it that the Guide states you can only have two, while in the Template it says you can have three? Not be rude or anything, but since you guys seemed to have experience in running a site, you should double check these things. Small errors like this makes a site seem almost incompetent, in my opinion anyway.

But if its really such a big deal, then I'll change it to Katon and Raiton. Though just a side note he's lived for quite awhile so having three elements wouldn't be too unreasonable.

Idk who told you that's how we operate but please don't assume exactly how we do things. We judge applications like resumes, with organization and quality. If you don't have either, then you don't have a worthy application, make sense?
I simply infer this because its pretty obvious that I didn't divide my history up into perfect little paragraphs that fit the paragraph rule, so to just say "You only have enough to be a Chuunin" because you counted the number paragraphs seems highly unfair to me.

And additionally, in real life, most essays can have paragraphs much longer this and you do realize that what you write on a word document it is comparably shorter compared to what you post up because forums generally have less room to type in so things appear to be much longer than they actually are.


Is there anything else I should edit or improve upon?
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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Kiyoshi on Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:19 pm

I apologize for the mix up, but the rule still stands, please edit your elements.

And again

The reason why it is preferred to have separated paragraphs is because it is generally easier to read without a whole bunch of words all over the place.

We don't judge an application solely on paragraphs but it plays a big role (Almost as much as an Rp sample) because it shows us your organization skills as well as story telling abilities.

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Reborn on Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:24 pm

Alright... elements edited, though I'm not going to bother splitting up my paragraphs. If you really care so much about it fitting paragraph requirements, then edit it yourself. Sorry but really, having to have things fit by paragraph really does seem pointless to me.

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Riku Shikyo on Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:29 pm

Approved unless said otherwise

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Kiyoshi on Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:36 pm

Alright, whatever then.

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Kiyoshi on Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:25 pm

Considering that Intelligence is not a specialty anymore, you'll need to switch that slot with someone else.

And also, under certain circumstances, your rank has been upgraded to S Rank.

Application before update
Spoiler:
Name: リボーン / Ribōn / Reborn

Age: Unknown
Age Appearance: 25 / 15 / 5

Appearance:
[spoiler][spoiler]Gender: Male

Rank: A Rank
Ninja Rank: Jounin

Village: Kumogakure
Birthplace: Unknown
Previous Village: Unknown

Clan/Bloodline: Vongola Family / Arcobaleno

Personality: Ribōn is always calm and able to keep a straight face no matter what the situation may be. He is quite detached from others at first appearance, but upon getting closer to him Ribōn turns out to be a caring person. Being so calm allows Ribōn to effectively read any situation and act accordingly. He seems to be able to read others very well, capable of learning much of their personality, habits, and even life with a few glances (although he typically researches about everyone so he usually almost always knows something about everyone and everything). Ribōn has a habit of saying "Ciaossu" upon greeting others (it is a casual male greeting combining the Italian word "Ciao" and the Japanese word "Ossu"). He also tends to transform レオン / Reon / Leon into a gun without notice and point it at someone if they are annoying him, although he still retains his calm demeanor.

Goals: Train others into becoming future leaders of the Shinobi World and serve the Vongola Family as needed.
Alignment: Neutral

History:
[spoiler]Ribōn's past is full of mystery and wonder as he does not share much information about himself. It is unknown when and where Ribōn was born, but it is known that he had been born as a normal human that could age and die. At the time of his birth, he had not belonged to the Vongola Family nor had he been a part of the Arcobaleno. He had grown up in a normal and bland enough life, except that he was quick in learning things and stronger than most. When he became eighteen he set off from his home and soon found himself amongst others who were much more powerful than him. Had he not had the high level of intelligence he had, he might not have lived, fighting against those that challenged him because he seemed strong. As such, he sought to learn their ways and become strong enough to defend himself. He thus began to train in the arts of ninja.

Although he had entered extremely late, he learned quickly. Within a few years he appeared to have caught up to those of his age, if not surpassed them. He was proficient with all of the ninja arts; however, he did not seem to have much purpose in living or having such powers. That would change as he was sent on a mission and found that he had been assigned to fight and kill many other ninja and civilians who could not protect them effectively and would only live by his mercy. Aghast that his superiors would send him on such a mission, Ribōn vowed that he would from there on train others so that they may be able to fend for themselves and protect the ones that they loved most. This vow of his of course contradicted his mission and the end result was that he was expelled from his village at the time and made it into the Bingo Books as a criminal for a crime that could not be stated simply because his superiors had not wanted to seem foolish for banishing him because he had failed to complete a mission and was going against their authority. Although many of his first shinobi village came after him, either to understand why he had committed such a dark deed or to take his life and thus gain social standing within the village, he defeated them all and continued to roam free.

Taking on a vast variety of students from all kinds of backgrounds, Ribōn taught them all how to fend for themselves. And often times, many years later his students would grow up to become leaders of their own people. He never stayed in one place for too long, usually disappearing after he had finished training someone. This continued for some time until he had built up his own reputation as a teacher. The Vongola Family of the Hidden Cloud Village soon targeted Ribōn. The Vongola Family was one of Kumogakure's prominent families, continuously creating many new technologies and aiding the village financially. They however ran the underground world, being one of the most prominent leaders of the mafia. Ribōn's skills and ability to teach others caught their attention as gold caught man's eyes. Their members soon tracked down Ribōn and brought him before the Vongolas. Within the Vongola's lavish home he was given the chance to serve them. The conditions were relatively favorable to Ribōn. It was very simple really, all he had to do was train each new generation's boss. Once he had done so, he was free to do as he wish so long as he answered to the family when they needed him. Ribōn finally agreed after many, many weeks of talking to the Vongolas and seeking his own inner guidance.

Shortly after accepting their offer, the Vongolas used their family's secret techniques on him. As such, he became one of the Arcobaleno. He was now immortal and could no longer die. In addition to that, he had been turned into a baby again. Ribōn had little to fear though for his memories and knowledge was still intact. Now officially a part of the Vongola Family, Ribōn underwent the family's harsh training programs and emerged stronger than before. Now he was no longer limited to just his Child Form, but had a Teenage Form and an Adult Form (his true form). But he could not stay in the other two forms for long periods of time, just a few minutes at first but this would later progress to several hours as he aged and learned.

Ribōn now also had an animal familiar with him: Reon, a shape-shifting chameleon. Reon was able to shift into many different forms, in fact it could change to virtually anything and everything Ribōn wanted or needed. Reon's primary use was a weapon, a gun to be specific. When chakra was fed to Reon he could create various types of bullets that would be released through a gun. These bullets had many diverse effects, but usually was some means of increasing one's attributes, be it with strength, speed, intelligence, or the like. As such, Ribōn became more of a support instead of a fighter, which suited his purpose as a teacher very well. The only real disadvantages to this was that Ribōn was often thought little of as he was normally in his child form. In this form he only appeared to be but five years old, meaning that very few would believe that he was a hitman or that he would be able to teach them a great many things. They would soon find themselves double-checking themselves though as Ribōn was still quite strong even in a child form. He might still be considered human, but in essence he really was not human anymore.

And so Ribōn lived like this for many years, going about all over the ninja world taking on one student a time and training them. Although his techniques might have seemed unorthodox and insane even, they worked. He returned every couple of years to the Vongola Family to take on their upcoming boss before returning to the rest of the world. Ribōn essentially did not care who his students were, but tended to choose or accept students that seemed as if they would never be able to rise up on the social ladder, in other words the complete and utter zeros of their respective villages. His training methods were generally seen as cruel and extreme as they often put the life of his student on the line when he did not need to. One such example is that in a simple question and answer session he may set off an explosion for each question that they answer incorrectly. His training paid off in and of itself though. Not only would they become stronger physically, but they would build up their own mental fortitude and make friends (or a family as Ribōn called it) through his training. Additionally, upon the completion of his training Reon would create a unique and special gift for them. One's training under Ribōn generally ended when Reon's tail fell off as it was a sign that the student was ready to go about on their own.

Whilst he was training others Ribōn created a vast network of secret passageways that could only be used by he (and others who were roughly the size of a five year old and had powers similar to that of the Arcobaleno). As such, Ribōn can virtually appear anywhere and everywhere at a moment's notice. (This has proven to be quite fun to do with his students as he seemingly appears out of nowhere to greet his students. That and it makes a great getaway.) At the moment, Ribōn is currently residing in Kumogakure no Sato student-less.
RP Sample:
Spoiler:
Hikaru drew in a deep breath as his hands began to move at a fast pace. Once Suzaku had came within range of him he quickly expelled his breath along with fire chakra, creating a massive fireball that would completely engulf Suzaku. He knew that Suzaku would be able to dodge the vast majority of the fireball, so why had he used it in the first place? It was merely a distraction. Amidst the smoke and dust, Hikaru had plunged towards Suzaku with kuna in hand. The kunai glowed a faint, dull red from the fire natured chakra contained within it. Should Suzaku happen to dodge the attack or decide to meet him head on with his katana or some jutsus, the kunai would violently explode, creating a small crater and effectively injuring Suzaku or killing him. And if the explosion should happen to fail then Suzaku had better be prepared for the follow up attack.

But little did Suzaku know that Hikaru's real purpose was to simply distract him as his partner and superiors began to make their way inside the village with little problem. They had already dispatched the other guards, all that had remained was Suzaku, the legendary guardian of the Hidden Rock Village. Hikaru knew that his mission was to stall Suzaku as long as he could, and if he found that he could do it... kill him. Thus far he had refrained from using much of his limited chakra, but Suzaku had forced him to this point. He had never once stopped his attacks on him until now. That could only mean that Suzaku was wearing out himself. Hikaru wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this up, but if he had to he would sacrifice himself to make sure that his people retook their village. He had lived for this moment, the moment that Iwagakure would finally return to his people.

He hated the inhabitants of the current Iwagakure deeply. They had killed his family. His comrades. His friends. And he had been powerless. He should have died back then when the village had been fighting one another for the control of the Tsuchikage's Office. But he hadn't, and so he had vowed to become strong enough to take back the village he had once loved so much. They would pay now. Let them feel what it was like to loose all those precious to you. His revenge would be got. And Suzaku would the be the first to feel his fiery wrath!

Losing himself to his hatred, a ring of fire surrounded Suzaku and flared dangerously, almost too powerful for Hikaru to control. As the fiery wall rose up into the air, its flames danced in his eyes. He was relieving his past and with it, he was becoming stronger. His will to fight and win was stronger. He would not lose. He would not lose. He would win. He would kill Suzaku. And the thought of avenging his people gave Hikaru the strength he needed to continue fightning back the Iwagakure Ninja. He might have been tiring before, but now he felt refreshed. It was amazing how one's resolve could strengthen them so. The fire about them was no longer controlled and cautious, it was wild and untamed. It could hurt Hikaru as much as it could Suzaku, but what did that matter to Hikaru now? Hikaru was less than human now, nothing but a demon and fire was his element. He would kill Suzaku's in this life's hell and send him to the hell of the afterlife.
Skill Specialty:
Dominant: Spiritually Attuned / Intelligence
He is able to speak to animals and insects and to sense what others are thinking but can not actually read their minds.
Recessive: Weaponry

Elemental Affinity:
Dominant: Katon
Recessive: Raiton

Stat Points
Ninjutsu: 4.5
Taijutsu: 3
Genjutsu: 4.5
Intelligence: 5
Force: 3 / 4 [Child / Teenage-Adult Form]
Speed: 5 / 4 [Child / Teenage-Adult Form]
Stamina: 3
Seal Knowledge: 2
Total: 30[/justify]


Last edited by Kiyoshi on Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:21 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Reborn on Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:11 pm

:/ Edited.

Edit: Edited for last spec.

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Re: Ribōn - Kumogakure Jounin [Finished?]

Post by Kiyoshi on Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:22 pm

Approved

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